#also hate that you pushed me to make an icon for myself now

[riddles-n-games]

Let It Hurt

Pairing: Avery and Jameson Summary: A rewrite of Ch. 54 in the first book. Alternate take post first kiss at the Wayback Cottage where Avery is more angsty and doesn't let Jameson go that easy. Length: Moderate Story Type: Rewrite

ANNOUCEMENT: I'm starting a tag list. If you want to be included, comment down below! Also, to access my TIG master list of fics, here's the link to the expanded view of my blog: riddles-n-games.tumblr.com. Click the icon Hawthorne Vault, that's where you'll find hidden treasure.

A/N: Hi guys! I'm sooo excited to be posting this one. It's been a long time in drafts and I was lost with how to continue it but I just know I really wanted Avery to be hurt but accidentally didn't try hard enough to make Jameson stop kissing her again. This gets deeper in their feelings and so it kinda makes Jameson sound like he's his THL self but still in line with his TIG self as well. Enjoy!

Kissing him felt like fire. He wasn't soft or sweet, the way he had been while washing away the blood and dirt. I didn't need soft or sweet. This was exactly what I needed.

    Maybe I could be what he needed, too. Maybe this didn’t have to be a bad idea. Maybe the complications were worth it.

    He pulled back from the kiss, his lips only an inch away from mine. “I always knew you were special.”

    I felt his breath on my face. I felt every last one of those words. I’d never thought of myself as special. I’d been invisible for so long. Wallpaper. Even after I’d become the biggest story in the world, it had never really felt like anyone was paying attention to me. The real me.

    “We’re so close now,” Jameson murmured. “I can feel it.” There was an energy in his voice, like the buzzing of a neon light. “Someone obviously didn’t want us looking at that tree.”

    What? 

    He went to kiss me again, cupping my cheek in his hand and with my heart sinking, I sadly wasn’t fast enough to turn my head away as his mouth connected with mine. I couldn't stop the lone tear that slid down my face. The shock of his words only started to hit me then and I wished it didn’t hurt so much but it did, even as I subconsciously reciprocated the kiss. 

    For a moment, I tried to will the hurt away, to pretend that this was what it was like to get kissed by a boy that liked me. I hated that his body felt snug against me and how it felt right. We didn’t actually like each other in that way, he just needed me to solve his grandfather’s last mystery and then I’d be discarded. I was no Emily but then, I never would want to be her anyway. 

    She was a life lesson of what not to be; a spoiled little girl who was more trouble than she was worth, got everything she wanted and got away with anything. Even if something was most definitely her fault, somehow everyone else was responsible. Well, the princess fell from the tower at some point. But even though I was tired of being associated with a dead girl that was six feet below the ground in a grave, I was continuously being dealt that card to no avail.

    The biggest irony of all was that I was in the house where her presence was most felt, like the ghost of her was overhead, hovering behind me, following my every move. 

    When he pulled away, I pushed at his chest and turned on my heel, trying to put as much distance between us. Hearing him grunt in surprise was only the tiniest bit satisfying as I made my way back to the room. There was some muffled mumbling that sounded an awful lot like “deserved that” but even so I didn’t care.

    I stopped at the beds and looked from one to the other. Which was hers? As I took in every fine detail of the quilt, my hand subconsciously went to my chest, ghosting over the pattern of the wound. I was in a dead girl’s room. I was almost killed tonight. There had been wood in my chest, there could have been a bullet buried there instead. Jameson could have been hurt or killed; if the bullet had ricocheted, it easily could have hit him. 

    Both of us could have come out of this very differently if it weren’t for those “hadn’t beens”. But Jameson didn’t seem to see it that way. No, because he was busy thinking about a tree. Anger flared inside me at the reminder. I understood he had laser focus but I thought he had room for a little bit of empathy and logic. 

    My mind shot to alertness when I heard nearby shuffling until I realized it was coming from the bathroom and heard him step into the bedroom. I crossed my arms and kept my eyes trained on the bedpost in front of me, not letting myself look up when I knew he was right behind me. He sighed softly. 

    “Heiress?” I didn’t reply. Another sigh. “Look, I know I came off as in-

    “I could’ve been shot.” 

    “Pardon? I didn’t-”

    “I said I could’ve been shot.” I spun around, catching him blink in surprise. “Shot, Jameson. Do you know what that means?” I stared at him sharply for a long moment before he looked aside, something like guilt or shame evident on his face. “I just inherited your family’s stupidly big fortune which made me a target of basically everyone related to you and anyone else in the world that made me their problem. I could have been killed. You could have been. Don’t you get that?”

    He looked up again and tilted his head, giving me a small wry smile. “Don’t worry about me, Heiress. A bullet still wouldn’t stop me.” My jaw dropped; he was still attempting humor. 

     “A-Are you being serious right now? Do you hear yourself?” He stayed silent. “Oren just pulled a chunk of wood out of my chest and if things had worked out a little differently, he could have been pulling out a bullet. Same goes for you. And meanwhile you’re over here thinking about a damn tree? This mystery, us running around acting like we’re Mystery Inc, you figuring out why your grandfather chose me, it’s all meaningless to you if I die. And if you got shot, your family would be out for me, we both know that much. And then what? Not everything is a game, Hawthorne.”

    “Perhaps you’re right but that’s just it, MG. If Emily taught me anything, it’s that everything is a game. Even this.” I was about ready to throttle him. But I withheld and rolled my eyes, laughing anxiously instead. “Jameson, get real. Emily’s dead, I almost died, your grandfather is dead, you’re not one of the heirs, your family hates me, the inheritance is not in the rightful hands, and now someone is after me. This is reality for me and you right now. This isn’t in your head. Life comes with risk, I know, but this isn’t a game.” 

    That elicited a reaction. His jaw got tight and his eyes narrowed. “You don’t think I know that Heiress? Unfortunately, my grandfather raised us treating everything like a damn game from the moment we could talk and think. Don’t pretend you even know the beginning of my life story, we’d be here all day.”

    “And I’m not. But you are acting like what just happened is something to push aside. Newsflash, it can’t be. I can get you pretending that covering me with yourself in the woods, cleaning my wound, our kiss doesn’t matter but not my life or yours being on the line for some stupid mystery. That’s all I ask.” That’s when it hit me. “Why do you act like that? Like you don’t matter?”

    I caught the panic in his eyes when they widened for a brief second as he turned away from me and ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. He’d been doing that a lot. After a long pause he spoke. “Because I’ve done worse. There’s a lot of things from my past that I’m not proud of. Things with Gray, things with Emily, things with Xan and Nash, the old man…” I put a hand on his shoulder. He side-eyed me and smirked knowingly. “If you’re expecting for this to turn into a confession, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.” 

    This time I sighed and shook my head. “No, I don’t. I don’t expect you to say anything you’re not comfortable sharing. But Jameson? We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, don’t be so hard on yourself for that.” 

    He turned his head toward me fully and the smirk turned into his signature crooked grin. “Don’t pity me, Heiress. Self loathing is a very good look for me.” But I saw the sadness in his eyes and something about it gave me a hollow feeling, like he’d been holding it in for so long. Yet that didn’t last either. “I know what you’re thinking and contrary to what you believe, I deserve it. Call it my role in the family.” 

    My hand slid from his shoulder and swiped at the mussy hairs stuck to my forehead. Then, I sidestepped him to pace around the room. I wasn’t sure how much more beating around the bush I could take.

    “I thought that was my thing,” he said. I glared at him in passing. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

    “Can you just let me think in silence for a second? I mean, would it kill you to stop making everything a joke?”

    “Hey, this wasn’t ever going to be a pity party, Heiress. Not my style. I’ve been honest about that mu-”

    “Stop it! Just… stop.” I walked over to him and took his hands in mine. “Look at me, Jameson.” He did, surprisingly. I lowered my voice and spoke gently. “I know you’re not okay. I know you’re sad. You have been for a long time. It’s caused you deep pain, I’ve felt that way, too.” I felt him go very still and for a long minute, he was quiet. 

    He exhaled shakily and his eyes were averted. There was the rawness again. “I’m not very good at this, Avery. I’m terrible at hurting.”

    Avery. He said my name; that’s when I knew he meant it. I let go of his hands and cupped his face in mine which made him meet my gaze. I felt like crying just seeing his misery. “I know you are. You can take all the time you need. But you can’t fix the issue by avoiding it.”

    Jameson inhaled sharply and rose to his full height, shaking his head again and went to stand against the wall. “I can’t. I’m sorry but I can’t.” His voice had gone so quiet, I could barely hear him. I followed after him and while I stopped just far enough that he had some space, I still reached an arm out and placed my hand on his back. He flinched slightly but didn’t tell me to move it and I didn’t retract either.

    “Look, I’m sorry that this might be pushing you too far.” He didn’t say anything. “You can be mad at me like I am at you for tonight but in truth, I think you’re just mad at yourself.” His head tilted to my side and I saw his mouth open but I plowed on. “You don’t have to tell me anything about your past. You don’t have to clarify. We can pretend everything else is a game. But not this. You matter Jameson and hate me for telling you that but that’s something you’ll have to eventually admit to yourself. It doesn’t have to be out loud with anyone around. It just has to be you admitting to yourself that you matter because you do.”

    “I-”

    “And I know this sounds worse but there are people who care about you: your brothers, your Nan, your aunt, I think, and you know, I’d even say me. You matter to me, Jameson. I may not know too much about you but I know a bleeding heart when I see one, especially one who hates themselves. I’ve been there myself, Libby too.” That’s when I heard the broken laugh. 

    “You really don’t know when to quit, do you?”

    I shook my head. “Nope, why do you think I’m still here?” He turned around and leaned on the wall, eyes red and hair covering his right eye but he was smiling that crooked smile. It was raw and edgy but it looked good on him.

    My stomach did a little flip flop. Stop it, now’s not the time. I stepped closer to him, swiping at the forelock but when I pulled my arm back, he gently wrapped his fingers around my wrist and tugged me to him. I shuffled forward a little more till I was practically leaning on him and his other hand went to my hip. The hand that was entwined with his was resting on his chest and it seemed like he was mindlessly rubbing circles into the back of my hand, as if distracting himself. We stayed in silence for a few minutes which seemed to stretch into an hour. Finally, Jameson spoke up.

    “Listen, Heiress, I owe you an-”

    “I forgive you.” 

    He shook his head. “Nuh-uh-uh. Not so fast. You got to give your little speech without interruptions. Now that I am in the mood to talk, you want to interrupt? Tsk-tsk.” I arched an eyebrow at him and he simply winked. His voice lowered, “I’m warning you though, this might be a shitty apology.” Oh, I’m prepared for that. But I didn’t say that out loud, just nodded and waited for him to continue. 

    “Hmmm-ahh. Hah, I’m already failing this. I’m sorry for what happened back there and here. I know it was serious and could’ve been bad news for both of us.” He looked to my wound and brought a thumb over it, air tracing it but hovered so close to my skin that I could practically feel his touch. “I was worried about you, still am.” Then through his teeth I heard him mutter something more softly. It sounded something along the lines of “Maybe-something-always.” but I couldn’t be sure.

    “That wound could have been fatal and I am angry we didn’t spare that but it doesn’t change the fact you’re still here kicking. Avery, if there’s anything I can give you full credit for, it’s your tenacity. I admire that a lot.” I felt a smile tugging at my lips. “About the tree thing, um, that’s how I learned to push away all the bad stuff, by focusing on the next clue. Those Saturday games helped me learn to focus on one thing even when there was something in the back of my mind. And to your final point; you are right. If I got shot or died, Nash would find a way to bring me back just so he could whoop my ass.”

    I smirked at the last bit. “I’m sure he would. I could try to protect you, though.”

    “Heh, you can try. But I wasn’t wrong when I said this was a game.”

    “Jameson…”

    “Hear me out. This is a game, a dangerous one and because of the risks and stakes, this,” he pointed to my wound, “is exactly what can happen. People will be out for you, more now than ever. But, if you still want to find out why my grandfather chose you, then the reward is considered higher than the risk. However, that’s up to you. And I can go back myself because I know these grounds.” He stared at me intently and I knew what he implied with the unspoken words. He wants me safe. The feeling warmed me but turned to ice shards because I knew he still wanted to risk himself.

    I shook my head. “Jameson, you were with me. I don’t know if that person was potentially after you too. I don’t want you to risk yourself.” What if the bullet strikes its mark this time? I leaned my head against his chest but he didn’t let me be that way for long. He cupped the back of my head and made me look up at him.

    “Do you trust me?”

    “No.” He smiled.

    “Good. But do you trust that we’re a good team?” I bit my lip but nodded in the end. “I can take worse risks, Heiress, and I found ways out of shadier spots. I’ll look through the security logs to find a safe path to the tree, I can promise you that much. Also, tell Oren to block that fireplace entrance in your room.” I nodded frantically. Then, he whispered the quietest I ever heard him. “I know you don’t have reason to trust any of us but me and my brothers don’t have anything against you even though Gray was acting like you’re a conwom-,” I snorted while he briefly smirked but quickly turned serious again, “If there’s anything good the old man taught us it was loyalty to each other no matter the circumstance.”

    I nodded again for what felt like the hundredth time. Then, I carefully wrapped my arms around his upper torso and hugged him, burying my head into his shoulder. His went to the small of my back and I felt him rubbing circles into my shirt like earlier. “Thank you, that means a lot. I still think you’re an idiot for wanting to do this but I won’t stop you. I’ll even distract Oren.” 

    “Great, does that mean I can kiss you again?” I pulled away from him immediately and raised an eyebrow in question. He was smiling cheekily and winked. But his eyes held that same intensity when he was focused and were tempting me. Well? Will you? Before I could think twice, I pulled him down by his hoodie strings and pressed my lips to his hard. Jameson had no trouble catching on and he lifted me up by the thighs, letting me wrap my legs around his waist before readjusting his arms to my back. I also curled my arm around his shoulder and clutched the fabric of his hoodie at his shoulder blade. It was a deep kiss but it was sweet. Ok, so a bit sweet isn’t bad. 

    When we parted, I was panting but he wasn’t. What a shocker. Instead, he was observing my face and I could imagine what he saw; the cuts, raw and red, scratches from the bark. Before I could ask anything, he leaned close and pressed soft kisses to each one. I closed my eyes. When he kissed my forehead last and he pulled back, I opened them again to find him smiling softly at me. It made me smile too and I didn’t hesitate to lean forward again to give him a light kiss in thanks. 

    Unfortunately, at that same moment a hushed gasp came from the hall.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that. See you next time. Also, I'm updating my master list of fics so the last few including this one will be there for you.

[funtheysaid]

IWTV 2x01 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)

- That title card for Delainey felt very stage play to me (ahhh I adore the theatrical elements for this season)

- Ooh I love the idea that vamps can take on the emotions of whosever blood they’re drinking - it’s like the vampire equivalent of when werewolves can smell ppl’s emotions and fears through chemosignals (a la Teen Wolf iykyk)

- “Disregard” is the funniest shit ever 😂 Oldmaniel they could never make me hate you

- There’s a Real Rashid OMFG ??? Lol imagine he’s not actually Rashid and they pull one over on us again I’d fucking shit myself

- “Your love was in a box” OH MY GOD EAT HIM UP DANNY BOY

- OMG OMG LOUSTAT ITS HAPPENIGN ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE SHUT UP

- I MISS YOU TOO LESTAT

- “Quite fucked” 😏😏😏

- “mon amour” “mon cher” “love” IM GOING TO EXSANGUINATE MYSELF ISTG

- The singular finger on Louis’ chin 🥲 so delicate so soft so bad for my mental health

- I like Emilia

- “They are not used to seeing man with good looks” OKAY I know they’re just racists BUT she also wasn’t lying bc beautiful Louis is canon god bless you Jacob Anderson

- Lol Morgan a little fruity

- OOH memory is a monster! They be redoing scenes as Louis “fixes” his memories !!!! That’s gonna show up again for sure :))))

- “Stupid Halloween costume” Daniel Molloy the brat that you are (is okay, Armand likes brats) *cough cough*

- I’ve never seen someone *elegantly* close an iPad before. Armand, you have bewitched me.

- The fucking sexual tension between DM is stifling 🥵😶‍🌫️ Um if this is us “not getting Devil’s Minion” then I think imma be okay

- Claudia pushing the little racist boy 🤪🥹 we can’t help but to stan

- WTF AMC you can’t just jumpscare me with a Grace photograph :’)))

- “UP YOUR BUM” EXCUSE ME MORGAN I KNEW YOU WERE FRUITY BUT SIRRRR?

- so the makeup department really put their whole sfxussies into that decrepit ass abomination

- Louis: Alexa, play Mr. Steal Your Girl by Trey Songz

- Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S1: ☺️🍭👼 Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S2: 😖🤢😟

- I’m dubbing Louis “The Rat Prince”

- “If he can’t take you ballroom dancing and call you pretty” ICONIC.

- “the motherfucker” it’s on sight Bruce or Killer or whatever the fuck your name was 🤕🥊

- “her hand twitched like yours would” why was that line lowkey out of pocket. My mans has Parkinson’s Louis !!!!

- SHE DREAMS 😭 MY FUCKING GOD STOP MY EYES ARE GONNA BE PUFFY WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW

- that wasn’t even acting that was some REAL shit. Get Jacob Anderson his Emmy or Oscar or Tony or whatever the fuck I just need him to be awarded for his talent

- Daniel’s soft compassionate side: rare but that much more meaningful when it makes an appearance

- LOUIS you did not just do Emilia dirty like that TF!?! She helped you dude.

- “Human affairs. Their problem.” Not you listening to Lestat now of all times

- “Catfish with teeth” Louis can really read a bitch to filth can’t he?

- AHHH THERE ARE TWO OF THE FUCKERS 👹👹

- Oh shit he’s a kid okay I’m sorry for calling you an abomination earlier. That was mean.

- Woman vampire, you standing precariously close to that fire 👀

- Delainey’s facial expressions are the perfect blend of innocent and slightly unsettling

- OPP INTO THE FIRE SHE GOES rip 🔥

- What the hell is a bacon triptych am I just stupid don’t answer that

- Armand you ain’t beating the iPad kid allegations

- “It’s his drug” He said that with such malice. Is this a “he needed me but he needed drugs more” plot line???

- So Dubai Loumand is chilly frigid tepid frosty glacial

- Free feet? Okay im sorry

- “We can have him saying what happened next in no time” okay wait hold up why you making it sound like YOU don’t know what happened next and you need him to tell you???

- oh danny boy whistling while the couple he’s counseling walks in… is this a comedy or ?

- Daniel: yeah? 🤓 Armand: yeah 🫦

- “the mother of New Orleans” oh he misses home

- LMFAO Daniel interrupting Armand before he can start soliloquizing

- Louis and Claudia in a truck full of art which they belong in bc they too are pieces of art to me

- hard words. soft words. 🥺

- “a shit life beats no life” god damn this monologue feels like Louis is speaking directly to my soul

- “as long as you walk the earth I’ll never taste the fire” If this is foreshadowing I- I- I don’t know what I’ll do but it’s going to involve a baseball bat and a waffle iron and my head

- “it would be enough” pan to Lestat 💀 you can’t be fucking serious right now you just cannot

- okay it’s over and the teaser for the season just started playing and I just have to shout out the score bc damn if those violins don’t get me every god damn time

(Stutter) That’s all, folks! 🐷👋

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #8 (Part 1)

ODIN WEEK! ODIN WEEK! ODIN WEEK!!! It's PKNA #5: Portrait of the Hero as a Young Duck btw. Please enjoy my epic edit- I mean real panel I mean totally real screenshotted and unedited comic panel.

Also, I try to put spoilers for the comics I'm reading about as they happen in the story, but this time I couldn't help myself so beware of reading this if you haven't read the whole chapter yet.

I already have this panel saved in my folder, it's so iconic in my head. He wanna be Batman sooooo bad.

Gotta love these military guys opening fire like their lives depend on it and PK is just behind them making silly little jokes like :D

Wow this guy seems interesting I wonder what his opinions on AI art are

Gorgeous panel and some gorgeous one-point perspective here. Sorry for being an art student but we made a lot of drawings like this and it made me learn that drawing buildings makes me want to die. So this is even more impressive to me in that regard.

Lowkey cute asf for Odin to just put a whimsical little garden in place of where Ducklair tower used to be

Donald is so SAD it breaka my heart 💔 RIP Uno who is totally super dead 💔💔💔

Donald is SO SMALL. Shoutout to the PKNA writers for pushing the entire main Duckverse cast to the side so that they could create an all-new roster of characters that all fucking TOWER over Donald in height. Lyla, Angus, Xadhoom, Styvesant, soon to be Odin in like a few pages. If you need to know anything it's that Paperinik is a little SHRIMP and he is so tiny and small and the most specialest boy ever.

haha..... yeah..................

DEFEND UNO'S LEGACY DONALD!!!!! Also Lyla... okay and I guess Geena cause she's the ACTUAL robot he's defending-

This is the part where I look at the camera like it's an episode of The Office btw. If you know you know.

babygirl

OOOOH SHIT IT'S YA BOI!!! I forgot about him trying to meet Donald by just slamming his ship into theirs. Like I GUESS that's a surefire method to speak to someone...

Cheeky son of a-

GEENA YOU FUCKING NARC

Snitches get stitches Geena... (imagine a little text pops up on screen like in a video game and says "Geena will remember that")

Hmmmm where have I seen this shot before.... *flashback to issue #0.1 which I put a filter over to make sure you know it's a flashback to an earlier chapter*

oh right.

Crying over this shot they BOTH wanna be Batman man 😭 two dumdums that were made for each other

He's so cheeky I hate him (affectionate)

So obviously they bring up that Odin just means "One" (or Uno) but it's also worth pointing out what an Eidolon is. Eidolon is a Greek term, meaning "a spirit-image of a living or dead person; a shade or phantom look-alike of the human form" (at least according to Wikipedia).

"ODIN EIDOLON" LITERALLY TRANSLATES TO "UNO'S GHOST" I FUCKING HATE HIM. I'M SMASHING HIM WITH HAMMERS. AFFECTIONATELY.

Anyways to wrap up with some final thoughts-

Something that doesn't really get addressed in this comic (probably for plot reasons, it's not super relevant) is just how comforting it must be for Donald to travel to the future and see that the Evronian Empire is all but wiped out, a shell of its former self. Obviously timelines can still change, we saw that in Day of the Cold Sun, but it still must be nice to see that all the fighting he does is going to pay off in a big way.

Btw remember that bit in an earlier chapter about Uno finding Lyla attractive? Yeah well I should think so considering that YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BUILT HER- Okay well he's not the DESIGNER but still I think that connection is funny ok. I wonder if Uno scanned Odin's gun and was like "oh"

I like this comic, I think it's another really good one. I mean it's no Earthquake but still, between Day of the Cold Sun, Earthquake, and then this volume I feel like we've just had banger after banger after banger. I'm also super stoked to have Odin in the story now, even if thinking about Uno way outliving Donald and being excited to see him again after 200 years makes me really depressed if I think about it too hard. I'm happy that he got to escape the confines of Ducklair tower and even got a cunty green suit in the process though, good for him. Donald is REALLY gonna regret not accepting that explanation from Uno though, RIP 🙏 SUUURELY he'll figure it out one of these days guys. Like EVENTUALLY. Right???

[wayfayrr]

I got inspired to write this based on an order I got from @cafecourage (they're lovely btw <3 would reccomend) that I got an ace sticker with my Sky keyrings - and how that spiralled into how Sky is an ace Icon with @angry-trashcan

“[Name] would it be alright if I told you something about myself-”

“Hey Sky, now that we’ve been together for a while there’s something I should probably tell-” 

“You can go first.”

“No, you, I can wait.”

Even though Sky and I have only been dating for a couple of months, well engaged for a couple of weeks now on top of that, not that I was aware of that fact until recently. We’re surprisingly in sync with how we talk to each other, it’d be cute if I weren’t worried about what he’s about to tell me. 

“Please Sky, you go first.”

“Okay, Just don’t hate me, please…”

“I - I don’t like the idea of sex, I really don’t like it. But I know a lot of people only really look for relationships for it, so I don’t want to, I don’t know, I don’t want you to get upset because I don't want to do that.”

“You’re asexual as well?”

He looks so confused right now, not upset, but like he’s figuring out something about himself. I’ll give him a moment to find himself before I carry on, he looks like he’s having an entire identity crisis, rethinking everything he’s ever known. But he looks pleased now, it must just have clicked for him.

“Asexual? As well?? You mean, I’m not the only person like this, and that you’re the same way??”

“Yeah, it’s what I wanted to tell you. I’m the same way, I know what it feels like.”

“So you won’t be disappointed by me?”

Tears are running down his face now, but he’s smiling so wide at the same time so I know that he’s just gotten some of the best news in his life and his tears are all for good reason. What has he been treated like to have this reaction still though? Coming out like this to a partner is tough, how stressed has he been in the last few days… oh this has to have been why he’s been so on edge. Taking him into my arms was an easy choice to make, a quick one as well seeing how fragile he is at the moment, comforting any of the links like this feels like second nature. My shirt getting wet isn’t an issue either although no doubt Sky’ll be falling over himself to apologise later. Running my hands through his hair always seemed to calm him before so it should help now.

“I could never be disappointed in you Sky. If you don't mind me asking… have people been disappointed in you for it?”

“... Zelda as much as I care for her, she - well she never dropped the idea of us having children. I loved her, but we weren’t right as a couple. She just didn’t respect it. She didn’t respect me now that I really think about it.”

“Sky I’m so sorr-”

“But that doesn’t matter because I have you now and you’re never going to leave me. I won’t ever let you [name], you’re mine now. You’re the first person who truly understands me.”

Like with the others, he knows I don't belong to Hyrule but he doesn’t seem to care about that at the minute, or he has something else planned to deal with that “issue”. Knowing how far he went for Zelda it seems somewhat fitting he’d push himself further than he should for me, no matter how much I’d prefer he rest. That thing he said under his breath as well ...

“Sky you know at some point I have to leave Hyrule… as much as I want to stay here with you I - I can’t just abandon my life like-”

“I also wanted to ask that when the time comes that you have to leave, would you accept me going with you?”

This impatience isn't like Sky, how he's interrupting me so constantly. He's got to be rushing all of his words out because he's stressed or something. 

his hair is so soft. 

Even with everything he knows, that he’s the start of this, he’d instead leave it all behind for me? He’s willing to leave everything behind over this, he’s far more important than anything here. Is that why he’s so willing to leave? Because he doesn’t want that fate, I wouldn’t blame him. 

“If it's what you want, Sky I could never turn you away. As long as you’re certain about it, if there is a way back to my world after all I’m not sure if you could ever come back.”

“Coming back doesn’t matter seeing as I would get to spend the rest of my life with you… I’m alright with that chance [name]. It would be more than worth it to me. There’s one other thing as well, what exactly does asexual mean..?”

“I understand based on what I feel, but I think there’s more to it from how you said it.”

“Yeah there is, it’s somewhat common in my world. I identify with it myself”

Where do I even begin with explaining this to him, there are so many different ways to identify with it and it can be so different for each person. Maybe it would be for the best to find out exactly how he feels first, I could wait for a while, it'd be a far easier talk after he's calmed down.

"explaining can wait though, right now I think I'd prefer to just rest here, I think that would be best for you as well…"

"hmm, as long as you stay by my side the whole time. I don't ever want to be apart from you… never if I can help it.”

“Have you always been this clingy or am I remembering things wrong - Not that it’s bad of course!”

“I just like being close to you [name].”

He really has gotten more attached over the last week, the same time he’s been getting more stressed, this really must’ve been playing on his mind for a while now. More than it has been for me, far more than it’s been on my mind. When we get back to my world I’ll make sure to treat him to whatever he could possibly want, after everything it’s the least he deserves. 

“You know… if you’re coming with me when this is all over… It’s probably a good idea to learn how to read how my language is written now.”

“Mhm… that would make sense. I could read your journals if I learned…”

“What was that Sky?”

“Nothing you’ll need to worry about my dove.”

[harringtonstilinski]

Always The Babysitter - Chapter Twenty-Three: E Pluribus Unum

Author: @harringtonstilinski​ Characters: Steve Harrington x Olivia Henderson(OC) Word Count: 1,757 (short chapter this week) Warnings: angsty Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! We get a lot of Dustin and Erica in this chapter <3 Also, no Steve gif this chapter! We're getting a Dustin one 'cause of this iconic line!! If you like this chapter, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

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Dustin looked up at me - well, past me to look at Steve, both of them saying, “The gate.”

I backed up from between them making my way back down the steps. “Ya’know, Dustin, I really hate being doubted.”

“I don’t understand,” Robin said. “You’ve seen this before?”

“Not exactly,” Steve said.

“Then what, exactly?”

“Trust me when I say it’s really bad,” I said.

“It’s really bad,” Steve added.

“Just said that, babe.”

“Like end-of-the-human-race-as-we-know-it kind of bad,” Dustin said. 

“And you know about this how?” Robin asked.

“It’s a long story,” I said.

“Uhm, Steve,” Erica said. “Where’s your Russian friend?”

I turned around to look at the ground behind me, seeing that the guy was indeed gone. “Sweet shit.”

Next noise to hit our ears was the alarm blaring, Steve rushing to the door to open it and look out into the hub space we sneaked through moments earlier. I heard “Halt! Halt!” before Steve closed the door, saying, “Shit!”

We ran through a couple of doors that led us straight to the control room, all of our feet stopping when the men turned to face us. Looking to my left, I saw another flight of stairs, running towards them.

“Come on!” I yelled, hearing Steve’s voice repeating the word go. I ran down a walkway, screaming as I pushed one of the hazmat suit guys out of the way, stopping once I reached the end, almost falling to my untimely demise.

I felt Dustin’s arms around me, pulling me back, both of us repeating, “Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!”

I breathed in deep before I screamed out, “Holy shit!”

“Guards! Go!” Erica said.

I turned around to face the rest of the group, my arm being tugged by Dustin as Steve yelled, “This way!” and led us down another set of stairs, pushing a guy out of the way before pushing a set of barrels towards some more guards.

I rushed towards him, running past him and to another door, leaving it open for the rest of our group to run through. Hearing it close, I turned back around, seeing Steve and Robin leaning against it to keep some weight on it.

Dustin and Erica went to a vent cover, opening it, Erica yelling out for us to come on. I looked between my brother and boyfriend, wanting to protect both of them, but knowing I’d have to leave one.

“Liv, go with Dustin!” Steve yelled.

“I– I–” I stammered.

“I’ll find you,” he said. “Go!”

“Steve–”

“Go, get out of here! Go get some help!”

I wanted to rush to him, to plant my lips upon his, but knowing I couldn’t against his struggle on the door. Feeling myself being pulled up the stairs, I kept my eyes locked on Steve before I had to look away, almost falling into the vent shaft. Looking back at Steve, I yelled, “I love you!”

“I love you!” Steve replied before I ducked into the shaft, closing the cover as I heard Robin yelling out, guns being cocked.

“He better not die,” I muttered, following after Dustin and Erica down this vent shaft.

~~~

Sitting in front of a giant fan, Dustin explained to Erica what happened that first year when Will went missing and then explained what happened a few months ago with Dart and the demodogs.

“And now, for some insane reason, these Russian assholes want to reopen it, for God knows what reason,” I said, using my hand to fan myself… even though we were by that giant ass fan. “Destroys everything we’ve risked our lives for.”

“By we, you’re including Lucas?” Erica said.

“Yes. Even Lucas was there. Matter of fact, everyone was there, aside from our mom, your parents and Mike’s parents.”

“So, all that shit he told me, Lucas was there?” Erica asked.

“Yes, Erica, he was there.”

“My brother, Lucas Charles Sinclair?”

“Yes!” Dustin and I exclaimed.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Wait, wait, hold up,” I said, sitting up a little and facing the young girl. “You mean to tell me that you believe everything about El and the gate and Dart, but you don’t believe the fact that Lucas was there helping us protect Hawkins?”

“That’s correct.” She looked from me to Dustin before she asked, “You need help with that?”

“No,” Dustin replied.

“Well, I mean, it’s taking a while, so–”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

“Dustin Wade!” I exclaimed.

“Alright,” Erica said. “So, if we don’t find a more efficient method to stop these fans, we’re never gonna find help, and your ice cream buddies, slash boyfriend and best friend, are screwed.”

“Yeah, with that attitude, they are,” Dustin and I said.

“Jee-zus,” Dustin added.

“I’m just being realistic,” Erica said. Looking at her watch, she said, “I mean, we’ve made it about point-three miles in nine hours. Then we had to walk three hours down that tunnel, so I’d estimate ten miles back to the elevator, which should take us approximately twelve-and-a-half days.”

I looked at her with a stunned expression as she did all that math that quickly. “Holy shit. You just did all that… in your head?”

“I’m good with numbers,” she deadpanned.

“Holy shit,” Dustin said.

“You’re a nerd!” we exclaimed.

“Come again?” Erica scoffed.

“You,” Dustin said.

“Are.” Me.

“A.” Dustin.

“Nerd,” we both ended.

Pointing her finger between the both of us, Erica said, “Okay, you better take that back, nerds.”

“Can’t put that truth back in the box,” I smiled.

“But it’s not the truth.”

“Okay, let’s examine the facts,” I said, scooting a little closer, holding my fingers out while I counted the facts. “Fact One: You’re apparently a math whiz.”

“Pretty straightforward equation.”

“Fact Two: you’re a 10 year old political junkie.”

“Just because I don’t agree with Communism as an ideology–” 

“Fact Three: you love My Little Pony,” I said, grabbing her backpack and turning it to face her.

“And what does My Little Pony have to do with this?” she asked.

“Ah, let’s recall the ponies’ latest adventure, shall we?” Dustin said, which caused a confused look to come from me. “The evil centaur team and Tirek turns Applejack into a dragon at Midnight Castle, and then Megan and the other ponies have to use Moochick’s magic to defeat his rainbow of darkness, saving them from a lifetime of enslavement. All the pink in the world can’t disguise the irrefutable fact that centaurs and castles and dragons and magic are all standard nerd tropes. Ergo, My Little Pony is nerdy. Ergo, you, Erica, are a nerd.”

“Bro, what the fuck?” I murmured.

“And how do you know so much about My Little Pony?” Erica asked.

“Because I’m… a nerd,” Dustin said, taking the panel off the wall that he unscrewed during his little rant. He pulled the wires from their slots, the fan next to us powering down. “Let’s go… nerds.”

~~~

After we crawled through the blades of the fan, we made our way down the vent shaft. Whenever I spotted holes above us, I started feeling around for a loose square. Once I found it, I pushed it up and out of the way, climbing out of the shaft and onto the floor that we were crawling beneath, seeing a whole bunch of that green stuff they were putting into, what I’m calling, a gate drill.

“Jackpot,” I said, helping Erica and Dustin out of the shaft.

Spotting what seemed like a golf cart, I smiled and made my way towards it. “Hell yes!” “Do you even know how to drive?” Erica asked.

“Of course,” I said. “I’ve been driving on my own for a year. Damn it. There’s no keys.”

“You seriously thought they’d just leave keys in there?”

“There’s always a spare,” I said, more to myself. I started looking around, hearing Dustin’s rustles as he helped me look.

“Hey, Hendersons,” Erica said.

“Yeah,” Dustin and I said, getting out of the golf cart to look around more.

“How big did you say that Demogorgon was?”

“Huge,” I said.

“Nine feet or so,” Dustin said.

“Why?” we both asked.

Dustin moved to another panel box, using his screwdriver to open it, grabbing a key to the vehicle inside. “Found ‘em.”

“Dustin,” I said. “Look.”

What I was looking at was a crate, big enough for a Demogorgon. 

“Ah, shit,” I said.

“Erica?” Dustin and I said, jumping at the sound of a loud zapping noise.

“What the fuck?” I breathed, holding my hand to my chest.

“What the hell is that?!” Dustin yelled.

“A deadly weapon,” Erica said, almost like she was in love with it. “Could be useful.” She zapped it again, Dustin and I jumping once more.

“For what?”

“What do you think? Taking down Commies, saving your friends.”

“Thought you were more realistic than that, nerd?”

I took the keys from him, not wanting to hear anymore of their banter for the moment. As I got behind the wheel and put the key in the ignition, I said, “We don’t even know where they are, and even if we did, there’s a million guards up there with way deadlier weapons. The best thing we can do is get out of here and find help.”

“Easy with that,” Dustin said. “Our chance of surviving, and theirs, rises substantially. Just trust us on this. Please?”

~~~

Stopping at a certain point, I got out of the cart and looked in the back, seeing boxes of that green goop sitting in it. Grabbing a couple of them, I walked a few feet in front of the cart, taking a deep breath. “Steve… this is for you.” Slamming the glass containers on the ground, I watched as they shattered, the green stuff once again eating away at the floor.

I quickly made my way back behind the wheel, trying my best to speed off. Stopping a few feet from a door, I told Dustin to charge in with that laser thing, to which he immediately did.

I charged in after Erica, standing in between her and Dustin and watching as an evil looking doctor fell to the ground. I turned to face Steve, seeing his eye bruised and swollen.

“Hey! Henderson!” Steve said, excitedly. “That’s… crazy, I was just talking about you.”

Sighing, I undid the bonds that were around his arms, hands and legs before putting my hand on his cheek. “What happened to you?”

“Oh, my god,” Robin said.

“Get ready to run!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~

A/N 2:  hi, friends! pls be kind and reblog! it really helps us content creators out <3

Additional Note: i absolutely love it when gaten screams shit. it's the best thing ever, lol

~~~

Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24​​ @stixnstripesworld​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​​​ @quanticobae​​​ @mischiefandi​​​ @kellyashcroft @lauren-novak​​​​

Steve Harrington Taglist: @madaboutjoe

If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.

~~~

*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @harringtonstilinski​.

All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of The Duffer Brothers.

*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Posted on April 2, 2024

[deliciouspirateangel]

Putting down my thoughts on Wicked for posterity. General stuff first and spoilers under the cut

I liked a lot of the aesthetics of stuff but god the colors are so washed out. Look at Wizard of Oz then look at this. It’s embarrassing.

No complaints on the vocals, everyone delivered. The weakest were probably Morrible and the Wizard but they don’t have big singing roles

I cried the entire time. But every 30 minutes or so I’d ask myself “am I crying bc the movie is making me cry? Or because I love Wicked in general?” I think it was the second

For a movie over two and a half hours, it didn’t feel long at all. Felt like it flew by

There were maybe a dozen people in our theater but we were all dressed up, all singing. I had my Madame Alexander Elphaba doll in her Shiz uniform with me, and my sister brought a giant bubble wand and blew bubbles when Glinda first appeared. It was fun 🩷💚 I’m gonna see it five more times in theaters

I tried to go in as blind as possible. No interviews, no articles, no watching or listening to song clips. I didn’t even know Idina and Kristin had cameos, but I wept when I saw them. The bit went on maybe a minute too long but it was still enjoyable

Loved all the references to the Wizard of Oz movie that I caught. Mainly Elphaba riding her bike with the lion cub in the basket, and someone using the word “gulch” lol. Oh, and the old timey title card was cute

The costumes were great but why were there so many repeat outfits? Madame Morrible wore multiple outfits multiple times. Boq and Fiyero didn’t even get second outfits. And I mourn Glinda’s cute white school uniform and yellow One Short Day dress. And the blue in general from the stage show

Buuut I know they were pushing the pink&green aesthetic sooo hard in the marketing and merch, and obviously it’s hoping to be a bit of a Barbie spiritual successor, so whatever. At least all of Glinda’s costumes were gorgeous

I loved the Wizard’s little miniature of the whole country. It reminded me of a WoO themed Polly Pocket set I had as a kid.

The way they thought they needed an action scene at the end? They did not need it. I didn’t hate it but it was just like come on can we focus

And ugh the ending song. I’m disappointed in how that was arranged. I didn’t mind Elphaba falling at first and seeing her little self and then coming up. But idk the way they kept stopping and starting the song when they should’ve just run with it was a little bothersome.

Madame Morrible’s line delivery on “wicked witch” was also disappointing. It’s so iconic and important in the musical but there’s no emphasis on it here

I did like the change to “Something Bad”, and having the little meeting of all the talking animals instead of just Dr Dillamond and Elphaba in the classroom

And like idk I felt like there could’ve been some more creative camera work over all. There were a few attempts but idk. People need to learn how to spice things up for musicals, visually

That’s all the specifics I can think of right now. If you read all this, ily 🩷💚🩷💚

[dyelwi]

1, 7, 12, 17 for Ms Athena Cykes since she’s your current icon?

Athena my beloved aaa I love talking about her any chance I get hehe putting this under a read more bc it’s gonna get LONG

1. Why I like her: so so many reasons. Where do I even start lol um I’ll start w just her personality!!! Ace attorney has a lot of characters in the “peppy happy girl” category but Athena has always stood out to me because of her unique quirks and how well she bounces off any and every other character!! Her dynamics w other characters (esp Simon and Apollo) are always really really good, and I think she’s a really strong character that a lot of ppl overlook due to not liking aa5 as much as other games (which, btw, I’ve never seen anyone fault athena for, it’s usually the cases themselves and the handling of Phoenix and maybe Apollo they don’t like but notice how athena is like never complained about in terms of writing quality, at least from what I see lol). She feels cartoony and realistic at the same time, which is hard to achieve but is also exactly what aa protags need!! Her trauma and trauma responses are compelling for the mystery aspect of her story while also being compelling just in general, which isn’t always the case in these sorts of games, and I just really like how she’s written overall.

And ofc I have to mention I just have a really personal connection with her. As an autistic person w adhd I saw myself in her more than in p much any other character, but whereas when I first got into ace attorney I was gloomy and grumpy Athena was so energetic and so dedicated to helping ppl that I just really looked up to her, and even now I consider her to be like almost a role model in some sense?? And her being into psych pushed me more into psych than I already was and is probably part of what has led me to where I am now— graduating with a psych degree this year and going on to pursue grad school and a career in mental health counseling. Athena just makes me so happy and she’s so good at helping people despite and even because of her (probable) autism and I wanna be able to make people happy and help them too yknow???

7. Something the fandom does w her that I like: tbh not a ton lol, but I always appreciate when people see how she can very easily be interpreted as autistic and they work that into fan content!! I also appreciate the calls for an athena centric game, as I think she was very strong in aa5 but needs a little bit more. I truly think she could be like THE strongest written female character I’ve ever seen if she got just another bit of an arc and capcom doesn’t mess it up lol. I actually have faith in capcom tho, ik that’s a bit uncommon but if tgaa is any example of the sorta writing they can do i have faith.

12. A headcanon— besides the obvious and like basically implied neurodivergencey, I like to think she likes animals, specifically more uncommon ones!!! I think she should have a pet, maybe some sort of reptile or bird. Simon has a bird, maybe she gets one too lol. I like sun conures a lot and they do have athena vibes tbh

17. A ship with her I’m fine with/don’t hate but also isn’t my favorite: hmm well by now you probably know I’m a big justicykes fan but other than that I don’t ship her too hard w anyone??? I guess after justicykes I’d say her and pearl might be my next choice, it’s a rare one but I think they could be cute!! But since I lean towards liking that one instead of being neutral, I suppose the true answer to this question would be junithena. I’m like. Entirely neutral on it lol. I think they’re real fun as friends but I just never saw the romantic spark everyone else seems to see??? Who knows tho, maybe when me and my gf play aa5 together I’ll see it. A lot of the fan art is super cute but I just never really got the romance vibe w them idk

[noctomania]

I just realized that Bette Davis is my longest standing fascination. I was perhaps about 8 years old when I first read about her. We were all part of a program, I believe it was called "accelerated readers" intended to increase literacy rates. I guess it is still in practice, but I'm unsure. In any case, I was among the earlier cohorts to be partaking in it. And I was terrible.

I never liked reading, and worse, my sister loved reading, which only made me hate it more. I tried to make it easier on myself when I had to read a book by picking something short. So one time I found this nice thin book that happened to be a small biography on Bette Davis. It also happened to be a grade above mine, whereas my reading skills were closer to the grade below. I failed the computer quiz terribly, but Bette has stuck with me ever since.

I remember the book talked about how she had been rejected in Hollywood due to her supposed lack of beauty. More specifically, I recall it talking about someone saying she looked like her face had been melted by acid. Well, as a child who was also enamored by and sympathized with the character of Grizabella in the musical Cats because of how she was rejected by the other cats as a hasbeen beauty, I immediately was on Bette's side. Even at that age, I understood that such a subjective matter shouldn't be the metric for what makes an artist profound or worthy of a role, or the basis on which you determine your respect for someone. I may not have fully understood the complexities of misogyny at the time, but being raised by a single mother of two children, I'm sure I had some foundational understanding of how to respect women properly.

Bette is responsible for drawing my interest into old hollywood films and stars. I started watching TCM at my dad's house when I was in my preteens, seeking out old black and white movies. This introduced me to Ginger Rogers and Katherine Hepburn. I learned about Mary Pickford this way as well in the wee hours of the morning when they would put on less popular silent films. Entirely fascinated me, and I could never understand people who felt they were boring to watch. While Bette was in the world of talkies, her style was from theater, which was what informed silent film actors to begin with. With a lack of thorough dialogue, they had to impress upon the audience through physicality alone. Some of the most well renowned silent actors were absolute professionals at physical comedy - like Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton.

I credit Bette Davis entirely for being a guide to helping me understand and respect the artists in front of the camera. She didn't act dramatically for the sake of being dramatic. She understood the undulations of a moment, taking the scene and ramping it because what else are you doing if not entertaining as an actor?

Though the rejection of Bette drew me to her, it was her no-nonsense attitude and her assertiveness that kept me around. To be so bold as to push back against the system she was trying to break into. Not without sense, though, always moderating herself but never leaving her spine behind. She made herself a queen by doing what those who were too timid to do refused. Even if she lost battles here or there, she won the war in my eyes. She wasn't one to back down because she picked her fights deliberately. She didn't assimilate. She overcame.

There will never be another of her caliber. No, not Streep nor Surrandon. Everything about her is individually iconic on its own, from her style to her acting, her voice, mannerisms. All of it. I could never imagine my life without Bette Davis in the background. I thank her for being the woman she was so I could be the woman I was and the man I am now. What is even funnier is that I'm not sure I even saw any of her movies until I was well into my teen years! I didn't even need to. Her legacy is that powerful.

God, i love Bette Davis. Thank you for existing. I wish you had been given the respect you deserved.

[kitxkatrp]

Not me sitting here reminiscing on the past ten years. Man I have been through a lot on this platform.

When I first started out, I was in the PH fandom. I had large icons and basically ran the blog as a personal on the side, so a lot of people didn't like me. I also got told my divergence was too weird to RP with. But I pushed through all the hurtful comments.

I eventually made some friends and ship partners. I got kicked out of the fandom essentially because I got into it with someone popular who proceeded to threaten suicide because we got into it. Not fun. I wonder where they are now. I hope they got some help, because they needed it.

I ended up meeting a woman that I 'dated' for several years. I say 'dated' because she claimed we weren't dating after like a week and then strung me along for three years as her doting girlfriend without holding the title. It was kind of messed up. We had like 80 ships and I had to beg for attention all the time. I was so scared to move on that I put up with that for a ridiculous amount of time. It wasn't until I got on my disability 4 years ago that I finally broke it off and blocked her. It took her two whole days to notice and she started blowing up my phone. I felt a little bit of satisfaction seeing that panic because if I was so important than maybe she shouldn't have ignored me and treated me like crap.

Anyway, that was about when I started to get a backbone. I had already started to change a lot as a person years prior when I was still in college and I broke up with my girlfriend in the YGO fandom. I was an absolute ass to her and I have come way far since then and I hope shes doing well.

I had a brief stint in the Fruits Basket fandom where I discovered that it was all basically a clique and once I got into it with at the time my best friend and they broke it off with me, suddenly there was no room for me there and I left.

That is kinda how I ended up just drifting around on my own, not heavily in any fandoms (until recently and only really with one person). I remade my blog a few times because I got frustrated with people not reading my rules. I've come to the conclusion that this will never be fixed no matter where I go, so I've decided to stick where I am. There was a brief exit due to the cult in the YGO fandom that happened like two years ago (not entirely sure how long it was, just a guestimate), but I did come back and I've been here since.

I"m kind of proud of myself. I used to receive a lot more hate and I used to let it get to me. That shit doesn't really bother me anymore. And I'm proud of myself for also not letting myself be manipulated for years by people just to avoid losing friends. I've gotten a backbone.

I have developed as a person through this journey and I am honored that some of you have been here for quite a while making this journey with me.

If you read all this, you didn't need to, but thank you.

[imhereforscm]

"This man"

Genre: comfort

Pairing: myself × Scorpio (self insert)

Warnings: daddy issues, family problems

A/N: Here I am with yet another self insert 😅 This one is something I wrote some months ago and due to something that happened today, I had to go back and read it again. I found this piece being really helpful for me and I wanted to publish it, because 1) it might help other people too 2) I kinda wanted to vent. (Although what happened today was far worse than what is written here, with an iconic line of my father "I don't want anything to do with her" towards me). Also, I've said this before and I'll say it again: Request anything you want! You're not triggering me at all and I'm being honest!

"Want an apple?" I asked, looking over at Scorpio laying beside me in my bed, the black covers draped across his body.

"Mhm." He hid his face in the pillow up to his nose, but the rosé adoring his ears gave him away. "Make it into one of... Those." His beautiful eyes narrowed and he casted his gaze somewhere else.

"I know." I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple, his soft hair grazing my lips and cheeks. I got up and yawned, still half asleep even though morning was far gone by now.

I walked by my desk and on top of a stack of book, my phone caught my attention. Its screen lit up and a series of letters formed a very familiar and dear nickname.

I smiled and picked up the phone, unplugging it from its charger as I did so. I dragged my thumb across the smooth screen and the visual button followed, answering the call.

I brought it to my ear and spoke, my voice still a little hoarse, since I hadn't spoken much yet. "Hi, mom." I said, my lips naturally forming a smile.

But it soon shattered and I felt as if my vision had darkened, my surroundings turning to cool, pale colours. "Hey, Vicky."

I swallowed thickly, my mouth drying at the sound of the voice that only sparked hatred in me.

"Vicky?"

"Is it about mom?" My tone was flat and monotonous, not slightly close to the sweet one from earlier.

"No, I just wanted to hear your voice."

I hanged up. With my hand holding the phone tightly, I placed it back down on the stack of books and placed my palms on the desk.

"Who was it?" Scorpio spoke from the bed.

I didn't respond. I closed my eyes and sighed through my nose. Anger, hate, sadness. All the terrible feelings tumbled out and I bit on my lip, trying to do something with my uncomfortable self.

I heard the bedsheets shuffling and then footsteps, which gradually came closer. Gentle fingers touched my shoulder and they momentarily froze.

Scorpio was not the best one in the field of comfort, but he wanted to help and I knew. His intentions were kind at heart, he just didn't know in which way to express them.

I didn't need to explain anything. He knew everything just by our faint contact earlier. He probably knew me better than my own self thanks to his power.

His hand rested on my shoulder and stayed steel for a while. He was still unsure of what to do, but I appreciated even his little awkward attempts.

The screen of my phone lit up again and this time, there was nothing under disguise. My... This man was trying to reach me, but this time he didn't use my mom's phone. He didn't try to disguise anything anymore. My heart tightened at the sight. I didn't want him. I didn't want anything from him in my life. I hated him. He abandoned me when I needed him most and treated my mother like nothing. He's arrogant and has never once admitted to a single mistake of his. Funny how he would tell I'm self centred, yet that's what he does himself. It was always easy for him to push the blame onto someone else.

Scorpio grabbed my right shoulder and pulled me, turning me around, so I would not longer face the desk. He wrapped a hand around my waist and hugged me close and I instinctively buried my face into his chest.

The feeling of his bare skin against my face was comforting and his scent enveloped me like a blanket, bringing me to tranquility and safety.

He placed a hand on my head and hesitantly, his fingertips started caressing my hair, which were a little messy.

I closed my eyes and hugged him back, allowing myself to forget about my phone. Maybe it was still showing this man's name. Maybe it wasn't. I didn't care to find out.

Scorpio's chin rested on top of my head and I heard him breathe. He hummed softly and began to rock me gently in his arms.

The vibrations of his humming and the beating of his heart joined their hands and sang in sync from within his chest and sternum.

I felt my mascles calming down and all the fearfully intense negativity from earlier had faded into a cloud of smoke, the dust of it being blown away by the wind.

Scorpio remained silent the entire time. He didn't really trust his vocal cords at this moment. They always got him in trouble and that was the last thing he desired right now. His hands went under my thighs and he picked me up with ease.

With my hands wrapped around his nape and my nose nuzzled into the base of his neck, he walked to the bed and he laid me down on it.

He got beside me and pulled me close, seemingly trying to be as gentle as possible. He tugged on the black blanket and covered us with it.

Underneath the covers we could see each other faintly by the limited light that slid in through the open end above our heads so we could breathe.

Both of our heads were laid on the same pillow and his lips were inches from mine. "I love you."

I smiled and reached out to run my fingers through his ebony hair. "I love you too." I moved my head forwards a little, our lips touching sweetly. "So much."

Between the darkness and the faint light, I could see his tiny smile spreading across his lips. "Vicky..." He spoke in a whisper, as if telling a secret just for the two of us.

"Yeah?" I breathed out the word.

He remained silent for a while, before finally speaking. "Nothing." Air left his nose, making a sound and his smile grew broader, his cheeks pushing at his eyes. "I just like the way your name feels when I say it."

[formulatrash]

f1 shipping gets kind of weird for me to begin with. i have seen people get into HEATED arguments about which ship is better and every time i just think people understand these ships aren't real right? half of these men are publicly in romantic relationships with women. there are a few who go out of their ways to say they won't do certain, really just regular activities that platonic friends could do together, with other men because they don't want to be perceived as gay. and i don't really fault them for that because i see how cruel fans are when drivers show they're accepting and inclusive by voluntarily wearing rainbow symbols or just simply saying they believe in equality, love is love, etc., but idk there's still something so gross about usually straight fans telling me certain drivers are like icons and activists for the LGBTQ+ community due to simply having a PR "relationship" or close friendship with other drivers on the grid. i love a nice sportsmanship moment or genuine friendship moment as much as the next fan, but that isn't "activism." that's doing NOTHING to address or prevent the abuse LGBTQ+ fans receive, especially in f1 spaces, both online and at races.

also idk i hate how every time teams or f1 themselves try to push these ships and bromances, the comments usually range from hateful and discriminatory to outdated stereotypes. and those harmful comments are NEVER deleted by admins. like, okay, cool, that's a really cute carlando or yukierre or whatever photo f1 or mclaren or ferrari or alphatauri has posted, but this does NOTHING for making me feel more accepted when a) it's fictional. it's friendships, some maybe closer than others, but it's not really LGBTQ+ representation. (at least not outwardly. i am not trying to assume anyone's sexual orientation here either, but none of these relationships have been confirmed real, and frankly, i don't think teams would be as open to publicizing these relationships like this if they were real romantic relationships, like some fans believe, due to drawback from homophobic fans, sponsors, etc.). b) how is this supposed to make anyone feel welcome and accepted when half the comments are like "who's the man and who's the woman in that relationship?" (something i fucking hate being asked myself. if i wanted a man in my relationship, i would just fucking be with a man).

idek if this makes sense or if i really even made the point i was trying to make but it bothers me too.

a lot here so, idk, apologies if I don't quite answer it all but I will give a try.

shipping wars in general are pretty weird to me, especially that something that feels so antique (like, Yahoo Groups-era internet) is going stronger than ever today.

that said, I think people who are completely aware it's fiction having some blorbos they like thinking about is also completely harmless. for a lot of people shipping whatever is a source of joy and play and to some extent companionship and it can create lots of good things. humans are meant to think things through by playing and sometimes dressing up the dolls you're doing that with in, I don't know, Star Trek uniforms or F1 racesuits or whatever is just the blorbo seasoning of the week.

it would absolutely nuke my brain to read. uhm, idk, I just looked in the F1 tag and pretty much anything in there as far as I can tell but I think it's fundamentally harmless as something people do, when it's understood as fictional.

that said; I fully get you about the mistaking shipping for activism thing. this actually, oh, let's get deep in the internet lore, used to be a big thing on here about 10 years ago. for whatever reason the Johnlock community went like, big on shipping pride and how it was an important expression of LGBTQ+ identity and inevitably, the loudest advocates were the straightest. cringe.

now, on the one hand I do think there's something to be said for queer interpretations. especially in the rigidly straight mainstreams of sport and media. if you think of reinterpreting the silly, silly world that is F1 as not for straight people then, well. yes, there's something radical to be said for that thought process.

imagining another possibility is a way to realise how absurd the current reality is. and that's good. but pointing at things and saying 'that's gay' when as far as we know it's not isn't that.

appropriating straight people (and many of the drivers have confirmed that is absolutely how they identify) as representation is, well, sometimes I can understand why LGBTQ+ people take crumbs. but when it's in a space where there are none of us then calling that acceptable or suggesting it fixes a huge demographic imbalance it doesn't is obviously a massive problem.

there are very few openly LGBTQ+ people in motorsport. pretending that's not true in reality isn't creating representation. it's fun to think about a world where there was more of us but it shouldn't replace the reality or excuse our absence.

and then there's the cynical marketing.

I've always really hated Jeandré. I know how many LGBTQ+ people were in the Formula E paddock at the time because I was one of them. clearly, JEV and André played into it, as did their team and Formula E but it was always so uncomfortable to me, that this was play-acting in an environment where the real thing would probably have got more of a pass than in any other part of motorsport but still not been treated with pride and acceptance.

it was something that drove engagement. which, god knows, Formula E needs so maybe that should be the next marketing tactic but it was also... not real.

I've said before I found things like all Sky's Carlando segments really uncomfortable. the one where Lando and Carlos took each other on laps and asked each other very dating-oriented questions was just... very uncomfortable. because men can ask each other dating-oriented questions, it shouldn't be a punchline.

to their credit Carlos and Lando actually always deflected any attempt at 'no homo' - they clearly have a very comfortable friendship and they didn't ever seem to get skittish, no matter how weird interviews got. I can respect just sort of seriously looking someone down and saying like, no you blink first if this is gay chicken. if you're trying to ship us, you've got to admit it.

but that didn't make it right. or make it that they were representation. remember when there was that seriously odd blog on here that claimed to be written by marketing specialists and body language analysts that was a transparent attempt to 'prove' carlando was true and both Lando and Carlos' official relationships were fake?

that felt very strange, a new development in motorsport fandom. obviously we all know it happened with One Direction and whatever but I was surprised to see that there was a ship that invested in, in F1. and needless to say, it was completely libellous and incredibly invasive, as well as quite misogynist.

shipping won't help a driver come out. and acting as though it's totally unrealistic that drivers could be in a relationship together obviously ignores the fact that some of them are (Jess and Abbie!)

anyway as a bonus piece of analysis for anyone who got down this far, when did Max/Charles go past the F1 RPF titan that is Simi for number of works??? unbelievable, never thought I'd see the day that was knocked off the top spot by two ships involving Max Verstappen. poor ol' brocedes.

[aurorxaeternitatis]

 who are you ?

NAME: Dante

STAR SIGN: Taurus

HEIGHT: 196cm | 6′5 ft

MIDDLE NAME: Alexander

PUT YOUR SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. FIRST 6 SONGS?

Cubana Cubana by Maksim Mrvica

So Beautiful by DPR IAN

The Mandalorian by Nicholas Yee

Suite No. 2 in B minor, BWV 1067: II. Rondeau

Heaven by Taemin

All This Power by WAR*HALL

EVER HAD A POEM / SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? I write poems about others, don’t think I’ve had one written about me though.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? Never saw the appeal so I’ve never done it.

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE & A SOUND YOU LOVE? I hate the sound of nutella being put on the kitchen counter. Otherwise, whatever sound is able to make a headache worse, but generally I don’t think I have many sounds I dislike. I love the sound of waves crashing, rain, crackling fireplace, strings, ice cubes swirling in a glass, sound of laughter, sound of pages turning, typing on keyboard, shoes on the dancefloor etc.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? No.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS? There are certainly some other lifeforms in the universe.

DO YOU DRIVE? I do and I love it.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? Many times, though that’s rather normal in racing while learning. My personal ones in normal traffic? Never.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? Yes.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? Encanto.

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? Broken bones.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW? Not really. I’m into more things at the same time so it all balances out. 

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES? Absolutely, I’m a spiteful bastard. I will hold a grudge for years and plan to get back at the person that wronged me. Now, for me to hold a grudge it truly has to be a huge deal to get to that point, one that’s truly going to impact my whole life, otherwise for small, petty things I’ll move on quickly. 

IN A RELATIONSHIP? Not at the moment, no.

Tagged by @umbrx​​

Tagging: you!

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Original Story: Three Conditions

A/N: Originally this was written for my Pop Fiction class in college, but I am now posting it here and thinking about turning it into a full on novel. Let me know what you guys think!

Summary: Randy was looking for a fake partner for the very simple reason of avoiding making a scene at a fashion gala that his toxic ex would be attending. He was not expecting Sage Ashton.

***

Finishing up his rather long-winded and rambling explanation and plea for help, Randy focused on keeping calm as he took a sip of his drink in the silence that followed. “So,” he finally said. “What do you say?”

Alex, one of his closest friends that had stood by his side for the hell that was his college years, laughed. Randy resisted the urge to end the phone call there and then. He didn’t bother to resist the urge to down half his drink in one go, though. 

“So- So, okay, let me get this right. Your mom is forcing you to attend some rich person ball and you need a fake girlfriend or boyfriend to get through the night so you don’t get proposed to? Seriously?”

“Gala,” Randy stressed, absolutely certain the silence that followed was judgemental as all hell. “Alex. My mother is a fashion designer icon and this gala is essentially a who’s who of those in the industry. And as archaic and insane as it is, it’s also the perfect opportunity for about a dozen families to push their children at me and hope a marriage comes out of it.” 

“It’s about time for you to settle down, you’re getting up there in years, after all, and you’ll need someone to take care of you-”

“I am twenty-five, you are an asshole, and you are also my last chance. Andy already said no because he’s out-of-state still for the next week, Novan told me to go fuck myself, Luna laughed in my face, and Lizzy… Lizzy was a little too excited about the idea.” 

“So I’m your fifth choice, huh? You really know how to flatter a girl, Randy.” His bad. That- Yeah. That was his bad. “Before I crush all of your cliche rom-com hopes and dreams, what’s the real reason you need a fake date for this thing? Avoiding marriage proposals is a little too big a lie even for you, bud.”

“Yeah… that’s what all the others said, too,” Randy groaned, raising his hand for another drink and ignoring the slightly judgemental look the bartender gave him. So what if he was sad and alone and on his phone with a drink? That didn’t mean his life was miserable! He did make sure to pay for that drink and his previous, though, to lessen the glaring. “I really do have to go, especially with how much I help with designs now, but… Tabby’s going to be there.”

A sharp hiss of breath crackled over the phone, Randy feeling the sympathy through the phone. “Crazy ex Tabby who tried to control you like a dog and then said you were only on a break after you dumped her?” Randy figured his silence spoke enough for him. “Damn. I’m sorry, Randy, I- I have work that night, and the bitch manager is on duty so if I try to flake I’ll risk this job.” 

Randy groaned, trying to make it pained and dramatic and hating that a little bit of his hopelessness was genuine. “Can’t I just pay you off? Come on, this is basically one of your novels come to life!” 

Alex started saying something, but it could have been in another language for how little Randy was focused on the words. Instead he was focused on the young woman who took a seat next to him at the bar and gave him a serious look with a tinge of desperation before saying, “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the next three to five minutes.” 

“Uh…” Hm. It was New York. He was in New York and this was a New York bar. This wasn’t even the strangest thing to happen to Randy that day. “Sure? Alex, I’ll call you back as soon as I can, I need to go play white knight.” Hanging up and ignoring the shouting and complaining, Randy felt two hands wrap around his arm. 

“Cool, I’m Sage Ashton, twenty-one, we started dating six months ago, we’re taking things slow, but it’s starting to get serious between us and we’re thinking we might move in together in the next few months.” 

At least three of his friends would be yelling at him to turn around and get himself out of the situation he now found himself in, Randy mused. On any other day he probably might have, but considering Randy was trying to do the same thing she was of finding a fake partner, he couldn’t exactly go around throwing stones at glass houses and all that. Plus, when he had agreed, there had been a lot of relief in her expression.

“Randy Beaumont,” he finally said, deciding he’d deal with whatever consequences came later. Besides, it wasn’t the first time he played pretend boyfriend to a scared person in a bar. “Twenty-five. We started talking about moving in a couple weeks ago and we’re even looking at possibly getting a cat together.” The dazzling and relieved smile he was given came a few seconds before the shout of her name. 

“Sage! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” A man probably somewhere between their ages came up to the bar and leaned in on Sage’s other side, two other guys hanging a few feet back before awkwardly moving to order drinks. “Come on, baby, you know I wasn’t serious, right?” His gaze trailed to Randy, a frown appearing. “New friend?”

“New partner,” Sage said firmly, leaning back into Randy and wrinkling her nose. Going by the slightly glazed look in the guy’s eyes, he had already been at the bar for a few hours, at least. “And I thought I remember telling you this conversation was over months ago.” Ah, right, Randy and her had been ‘dating’ for six months. “Randy, this is Jake. He’s… someone I don’t talk to anymore.” 

“How long has this been going on for?” Jake smirked, looking like he was about to catch them in a lie as he kept his gaze focused on Randy. Personally, Randy thought he did a great job of raising his eyebrows and looking a mix of disdainful and annoyed. 

“‘Bout six months,” Randy said with a convincing glare, using the grip Sage had on his arm to pull her closer, ‘lowering’ his voice. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

Before Sage could answer, Jake was raising his voice, “Six months! So what, you left me and then had someone waiting in line for you! Or was he there before you walked out-” 

“On you and Jessica having the time of your lives on my bed?” Oh. Oh, damn. That was… no wonder she had wanted a fake boyfriend as backup. “I wasn’t the one cheating, Jake. Besides, I met Randy a week after that.” 

“Mutual friend set us up, in case it actually matters to you,” Randy said, really selling the story. He hoped so, at least. “C’mon, let’s get out of here, hun.” Standing up, Randy threw a couple bills down for a tip and to cover any of Sage’s possible drinks before he was placing an arm around her waist lightly and tugging her along. When it looked like Jake was about to say something no doubt degrading, Randy stood up straighter and narrowed his eyes. “What.”

“Bitch,” Jake muttered, acting as if he had gotten the last word in before slinking off to re-join the two others he had walked over with. 

As soon as they were outside and on the sidewalk, Randy removed his arm and smiled at Sage, “Sorry if any of that was uncomfortable.” 

“No worries,” Sage beamed, looking a lot more relieved once outside. “Jake’s not really, you know, violent, but… seeing him at a bar drunk with his brother and idiot best friend? Better safe than sorry, you know? You looked like you could throw a punch, at least.”

“I have been in my fair share of bar brawls,” Randy nodded, going for wise elder and probably hitting annoying considering the jab he got to his side. “Seriously, do you need help or to talk to the police or anything? Any stalking from him?”

“Just bad luck,” Sage shook her head, giving him a smile. “Thanks for the worry, though. But, no, I was about to move when that whole thing went down anyways, so, you know. He doesn’t even know where I live. I’ll now be changing bars, too, so with luck on my side and the enormity that is New York, I should be just fine. Shall we now break up and go our separate ways? I can even throw in some crying, if you want, or screaming to make you really look good.” 

“But how would my heart ever heal?” Randy asked, placing a hand over his chest and grinning at Sage’s laugh that definitely seemed to have taken her by surprise. For someone who had grabbed him in a bar and asked him to be a pretend boyfriend, she wasn’t half bad. In fact… he just had an idea. “Actually, my wonderful pretend girlfriend, while we’re on the subject of needing fake partners…”

Sage didn’t miss a beat for even a moment, instead starting to grin, “Yeah? Need me to scare off a crazy ex-girlfriend who can’t let you go because you’re soulmates?” Oh, Randy was definitely going to get Sage’s number after this. It was like talking to himself only with more sarcasm and attitude. 

“Honestly? You hit the nail on the head. Plus, if you say yes, it actually might be one of your top weirdest New York experiences.” A fake boyfriend for five minutes was a lot less to ask than an entire night as a fake girlfriend at a fashion gala. 

Sage didn’t respond right away, which was relieving in a way, and instead simply stared at him as if she was trying to figure him out. It felt like a couple of years before she finally nodded and asked, “Are you hungry?” 

“I could eat.” Rolling with the punches seemed to be the best way to navigate a conversation with Sage from what he could tell so far. It was like improv only with less comedy. Probably. 

“Good. It’s a fast food kind of day. Let’s go get dinner.” Sage bumped their shoulders together, giving a grin. “You can give me your pitch as we’re walking.”

Thankfully, it was New York and they were in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. There were fast food places everywhere. Even more thankfully, Randy was done explaining about the situation by the time they had their food in front of them — the real one, and not the fake marriage proposal one.

“So.” Sage finished sprinkling three packets of salt over her fries before starting to eat them, Randy watching in a mixture of fascination and horror. “You need a fake partner to go to this fashion gala with you since you’ll almost definitely be running into an insane ex-girlfriend who wants to own and control you like a poodle.” 

“That covers all the major points of it, at least,” Randy nodded, not even surprised when Sage took a sip of his drink before drinking from hers and then swapping them. He supposed he would be drinking Coke instead of Sprite. “I’d offer to pay you, but that makes it sound like something vaguely illegal is happening.” 

“As opposed to you living out a fanfiction trope used by fourteen-year-olds just learning to write gay fanfiction.” Sage decimated a quarter of her fries before Randy found his voice again because that description had been horrifyingly beautiful — and accurate. 

“Moving on.” Yeah. Okay. He deserved the laugh to his face on that one. “I really am out of options. All of my friends are either working, out-of-state, or don’t feel comfortable enough to go. But this is also a voluntary experience. You can opt-out at any time.” 

“Is this conversation being recorded for training purposes?” Ah, the sass never stopped. Randy hated how much fun he was having. “Alright, more seriously, I’m… not totally against it. I guess I do kind of owe you after the whole Jake thing.” 

“That was a debt-free fake-boyfriend event,” Randy said, shaking his head when Sage looked ready to argue. “No, seriously. I know how that kind of thing goes, and I’d rather play boyfriend to someone actually decent than have you end up in a bad situation, especially when you’re on your own in a bar.” 

Sage was quiet and Randy was starting to think he had offended her or had gone too far before she placed a hand to her chest. “Randy… I think I’m ready to move in with you.” Randy wasn’t even done laughing before she broke and laughed herself. “Seriously, though, I’m not against it. Attending a fancy party with free food and getting the chance to piss off some rich jerks? I’m in — but on three conditions!” 

“Name them,” Randy said at once, not at all caring how desperate he came across because, well. He really was desperate. He needed to be at that gala, both to support his mother and to start making his own name in the industry. The idea of running into Tabby, though… He had barely managed to scrape together the courage to leave her the first time. She knew just what to say to tear him down and keep him under her heel and he’d rather avoid re-living and going through more emotional abuse if he could. 

“Alright, condition number one, I get to take my own transport there. I am not showing up in some damn limo or fancy looking car. I have standards, Randy.” Sage grinned, Randy feeling the tension drain out of him as he relaxed. “Two, I’m not going to kiss you or anything just to fool some rich snobs. My emotions are far too delicate for such a thing like that.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Randy nodded quickly, trying to hide his smile behind his drink as Sage ‘glared’ at him. She then stuffed another handful of fries in her mouth and looked more like a chipmunk than anything until she swallowed. 

“Three — the last and most important one.” Sage looked solemn, but Randy wasn’t willing to buy it quite yet. “We are not going to be a trope, Randy.” Sage didn’t even pause at his laughter, instead talking over him. “I’m serious! We’re not going to fall in love and get together and have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence and- Hang on. We’re in New York. Right. We’re not going to fall in love and move into a two-bedroom apartment with our rescue cat!”

Randy was still laughing even as he held out his hand, Sage clasping it firmly with a grin. “Sage Ashton, I agree to your terms.” 

“Then Randy Beaumont, I’ll see you tomorrow night.” 

***

Adjusting his outfit and doing last checks for the fifth time in the rearview mirror, Randy continued speaking towards the call he had going. “Yes, Mama, I’m on my way there now. Remember, Sage and I are madly in love and you’re looking forward to your future daughter-in-law joining the business.” 

“Where did these dramatics come from? I know they couldn’t have come from me.” Ha. This from the woman who convinced three models to quit at a rival’s fashion show and then gleefully took credit for it. “Will my future daughter-in-law that you met while playing hero be dressed appropriately, at least?”

“Mama, please, there’s no need to insult me. I managed to tailor some spares I had while working on the Spring collection.” 

“Premaire or Coupled?” More smug at the question than he probably should have been, Randy thought back to when he had invited Sage over the day before the gala to try on outfits to find something for the ball. It had been a fun afternoon teaching her about fashion, the industry at large, matching and combining fabrics, and creating something entirely new for her to wear — as well as something that would match his own outfit. 

“The silk-lined plum chiffon blouse from Premaire and the combined wool leggings and skirt in black from Coupled. Also threw in the boots from the Fall Lessons collection.”

The sound of clapping over the line had him beaming, “Bravo! That’s my boy! Some excellent choices and I look forward to seeing them in person! Hopefully my future daughter-in-law fits the clothes?” Ah, she was so protective. 

 “Trust me, Mama, I think you’ll actually like her. She’s… fun. Nice. I think I might actually see if we can be friends after this. Some of the others would love to meet her.” 

“Mm…” Oh, he did not like that teasing, knowing hum of hers. “I’ll be sure to expect us to see a lot more of my future daughter-in-law, then.”

“Now, hold on a minute there, that doesn’t mean-” 

“Ta, darling, I’ll see you soon!” 

The call ended before his phone switched back over to his music, Randy suddenly finding the whole ‘daughter-in-law’ joke a lot less funny after that last comment. Honestly. Years of trying and still he couldn’t get the last word in when it came to his mother. 

At least traffic was actually decent for once, Randy making good time even with him seemingly hitting every red light in the state- Oh. Now that was interesting. Randy was eighty percent sure he was seeing Sage come out of an apartment complex. He wasn’t absolutely sure, considering the distance, but chances were good considering the woman who had just come out was dressed up in the outfit he had tailored and put together along with make-up done to absolute perfection and curled, wavy hair that was woven and braided in around a headband with a black and gold butterfly on the top. 

Ah, well, even if he was wrong people had heard weirder shouted out to them from cars with their windows rolled down. “So how firm was that first condition,” he shouted, grinning as the woman jumped and looked over at him, expression blank before it became angry as heeled boots started stomping towards his car and oh, yes, that was definitely Sage. 

The light turned green just as Sage finished sliding into the car and shut the door behind her, Randy doing his best to not laugh as Sage ‘glared’ at him. It was more like a pout, if anything, and even that was stretching it. “Randy Beaumont, you are on thin ice right now.” 

“I’m sorry, but we’re still five miles away and do you really want to step on public transit dressed like that when it’s getting to be night?”

“You sound like my dad,” Sage huffed, Randy seeing what was coming the second realization sparked in her eyes and a smile started growing. 

“No- No, no, don’t-”

“Does this mean I get to call you Daddy?”

“Get out of my car right now. I'd rather deal with the emotional trauma.” 

Randy couldn’t even try to be angry as Sage laughed loud and bright, almost bent over with the force of her laughter. Honestly, it was a sight that put him at ease and made him think that the gala wouldn’t be near as bad as he was expecting. 

It was a shame that he had forgotten that God hated him and cursed his existence each day he managed to survive. 

While the ride to the gala had been delightful, and the first half hour had actually been fun with the low, scathing commentary Sage happily whispered to him about everyone they saw, the current moment he had managed to find himself trapped in was a moment from hell. Of course it had been just as Sage had left to hit the bathroom. 

“Really, Randall? You hired someone to pretend to be your girlfriend just to avoid me? I’m almost hurt.” Tabitha Fields smiled beautifully and coldly, dressed beautifully in shades of red and gold, and Randy felt like he had swallowed ice. He didn’t like the fact that she had obviously been watching him and had waited for him to be alone. “Darling, when are you going to quit all this fuss and stop running away from me?”

“I didn’t run away from you, Tabby,” Randy said firmly, the words feeling like a lie. “I left you. I also didn’t hire anyone to be my girlfriend. Sage is here of her own free will.” 

“I doubt that. It couldn’t be more obvious that she doesn’t belong here, darling,” Tabby laughed, bright and sweet and one of the first things Randy had fallen in love with. “Baby, don’t you think it’s time for our break to end? I promise I won’t even be upset with you.” 

“I-”

“Last I heard he had dumped you!” The warm, happy look in Tabby’s eyes went cold and flat like he had last remembered, Randy taking a breath as Sage wrapped her hands around his arm and leaned in close to him. “You must be Tabby! I’m Sage Ashton, Randy’s girlfriend. A shame Randy didn’t manage to fully convey how much of a bitch you are, though.” 

Tabby stared and Randy couldn’t blame her because, well, people normally didn’t just come out and call someone they just met a bitch. Especially not at a fancy fashion gala where the average outfit cost more than a year’s worth of salary for some people. Sage, he was starting to fully realize, wasn’t exactly someone normal. He was surprisingly okay with that. Besides, Tabby deserved it. “I beg your pardon-”

“Then beg,” Sage said cheerfully, Randy shaking as he tried to hold in laughter because that- Who went up to people they didn’t know and said those things? “Sorry, I’m just a dumb little commoner around here, you know, I don’t know all these fancy unspoken rules and regulations. All I know is how to spot an abusive bitch.” 

Tabby’s expression had changed to something more suited to an apocalyptic rage, Randy swallowing and tugging Sage closer to him, who only laughed. “Easy, Tabby, easy. See, right now I’m smiling and laughing, but you’re looking more and more angry. If you were to break and start yelling, and I went from smiling to crying, what do you think that would do to your reputation?” 

Randy felt himself freeze the same moment Tabby did and oh… Sage was brilliant. At a gala like this, where so many people in the industry were as well as reporters? None of them could afford to make a scene. Part of why Randy had been so scared of coming alone was that he knew he couldn’t make a scene against Tabby without bringing negative repercussions to himself and his mother’s business.

“The beautiful, composed Fields heiress yelling and insulting the sweet, starry-eyed girlfriend of Randall Beaumont? It’d look pretty bad for you, I think.” Huh. Randy hadn’t thought Sage had been paying attention when he had started rambling about the political and reputation side of the fashion industry. “So, why don’t we just smile and go our separate ways and avoid each other for the rest of the night?

“Oh, and Tabby? One more thing, before I forget.” A hand cupped his cheek and Randy realized what was happening a second before lips were connecting with his. He had expected a quick brush, something similar to what was done for a play or a joke, but instead he got a kiss. He did his best to relax and make it feel like it was something natural, something they had done before a hundred times, at least. He was… a little scared, actually, of how easy that was to do. 

When Sage finally pulled back from where she had been leaning up and huh, apparently Sage, even in boots with a heel of three inches, had to lean up to kiss him. That was a detail he hadn’t thought he’d need to know, but there it was. He should probably focus on what Sage and Tabby were saying, no doubt making enemies of each other and Tabby threatening to bring Beaumont Fashions down, but Randy couldn’t drag his focus away from how nice of a kiss that had been. 

It wasn’t steamy, or overwhelming, or some true love’s kiss, but it had been- It had been nice. It felt like something soft and familiar. It wasn’t just that, either, but Sage seemed to be soft and familiar around him. Even as they were surrounded in an environment where she had to pretend to be in love with someone she had essentially just met, she was relaxed. She had been joking with him and teasing him and acting as if she had known him for years. It felt like they had known each other for years. She was leaning into his side and tangling her fingers with his and- 

“Randy.” Snapping to attention, Randy realized Tabby had left and Sage was grinning up at him like he was an idiot. He was very quickly becoming alright with that. “As I was saying, your personalized demon from hell just left. Maybe we should introduce her to Jake. They can be toxic assholes together! At least, I’m assuming she was toxic going by what you’ve told me and how terrified you looked there when I came back.”

“I-” Right. Get it together, Beaumont. “Yeah. That’s pretty close to it, at least. Bad parting. And relationship. Um, about the… the-”

“Yeah,” Sage nodded, playfully glaring at him again. “That’s two conditions broken, Beaumont. Don’t think I’m not keeping track.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Randy managed to respond in a tone that was probably normal, not even fighting it as Sage dragged him over towards the table where his mother was sitting and yeah… Yeah. His life had definitely become the manuscript of a romantic comedy. 

That made him feel kind of alright with how he was about to break condition number three.

[pokimoko]

@pizzee​​ and I have a very healthy relationship.

per ur request:

ALT

Me and the besties boyfriends.

[tickledpink31]

Will Minako tell the boys about the culture and language of the Philippines? Anyone dare to insult Filipino culture?

Not going to answer the second question because I find it uncomfortable to answer.

But yes, Minako does like involving Japanese and Pinoy traditions and into her lifestyle. She often expresses her heritage in food or holidays. Filipino culture is such a phenomenon to me because although we’re Asian, the Spanish influences on our country are quite heavy.

When it comes to languages, Minako is more fluent in Tagalog than Japanese. She also swears a lot in Tagalog, a habit that she got from her mother who was a bit of a sailor mouth.

We have this tradition called “Kamayan,” which means to eat with our hands. That might appeal to some of the boys at the prospect of not having to wash a lot of dishes since there is no cutlery involved and the food is plated on banana leaves that you can just throw away. Some don’t like it because they prefer having their hands clean while eating.

To celebrate Christmas (or in Twisted Wonderland’s case, Winter Holiday), people would find Minako making traditional Filipino Christmas star decorations that we call parol. Malleus even helped put lights in the stars. The glowing stars hanging on the windows makes the dorm look enchanting at night.

Filipinos also tend to celebrate Christmas for months, and I mean MONTHS!!! We start celebrating from September, and we’re usually not done until February. Minako doesn’t really do that though. She loves Christmas, but she and her family are among the people who are annoyed that Christmas music is already playing on the radio as soon as November hits.

Parties! For someone who leans more into introversion, Minako’s great at throwing parties or just hosting in general. She caters the best food and the pabitin game (rack of goodies, our own kind of pinata) is always fun on her birthday.

Filipino dramas may not have the same level of insanity as Spanish or Indian soap operas, but they have their moments. We even have our own Pinoy version of the famous Spanish telenovela, María la del Barrio. You know, the soap opera that gave us this iconic scene.

Vil gets introduced into ABS-CBN soap operas. He’s caught in between hating how cheesy and over-the-top the performance of the actors are but also secretly liking it. He catches on pretty quickly that the moment a character speaks English during an argument, it’s SERIOUS. Meanwhile, Lilia is eating up his popcorn when a physical fight breaks out between the bida (the heroine) and the contrabida (the villainess). He lives for the screaming, hair-pulling, and slapping after someone’s been cheating on his wife. Anyone getting pushed down the stairs has him at the edge of the seat no matter how many times he’s seen that cliché.

Augh, the cgi of the fantasy soap operas makes Idia cringe. It’s so low-quality. Too bad though because Minako decided to show him one of the many adaptations of Mars Ravelo’s Dyesebel.

This one Pinoy show, Kara Mia, while I’ve never watched it myself, seeing the preview terrified me to an uncomfortable degree because of the two faces sharing a single body. They try to paint it as a cute friendship between the two faces, but everyone who has laid witness to the show were green at the gills.

Ah, I think that’s all I have for now. I’m out of brain juice.

[strahdapologist]

@churchyardgrim replied:

holy shit this sounds so wild 👀 👀 if you don’t mind infodumping, i’d love to hear more about the Azalin Rex and Lyssa von Zarovich plotline, bc i hardly ever see ppl use Lyssa in CoS and i’m so intrigued O:

;u; honestly they’re both underutilized and such interesting characters esp if you want to drag out the campaign beyond the adventure module. as a long term plan i want azalin to be a final big bad since a lich is just such an iconic villain. this is ofc after they deal with the dark powers in barovia and my amber temple replacement but i’m getting ahead of myself also to my players AVERT YOUR EYES.

a lot of this began with me needing ways to spice things up since the players were more inclined to be strahd’s friend in an attempt to break the curse rather than his enemy. as a tatyana reincarnation was among them, strahd was also less bloodthirsty as a result. i really want to play purely evil strahd one day, but strahd as a sort of frenemy of the party has been really hilarious not gonna lie. it also made losing tatyana sadder in the last session lmao anyway

all about azalin

it started as a running gag about azalin stealing strahd’s marble since the characters were like strahd why do you live in the dirt and i was like fuck it. azalin i guess

but that evolved into the idea of azalin actually resurrected our reborn character radu (and alek reincarnation) since that was left up to the dm to decide for the player. that snowballed into azalin pulling multiple strings behind the scenes because something that stood out to me in i, strahd: the war against azalin is just how much that lich hates strahd and wants barovia.

in my game now, azalin thinks strahd is unfit to rule because of his emotional attachment to tatyana. unable to expand his own magical prowess, azalin seeks power by taking over surrounding domains.

as he cannot leave darkon, he has been using sending spells/astral projection to set his plan in barovia in motion. over strahd’s depression nap, azalin was able to not only resurrect alek, but also recruit some allies within ravenloft who were unhappy with strahd’s moodswings.

he also rescued lyssa von zarovich from her medical coma, knowing she would be an ally he could count on.

he anticipated alek to be much more antagonistic against strahd, and was disappointed when radu eventually tried to become strahd’s best friend, so he decided to target tatyana instead to hurt strahd and push him back into his depression and allow azalin to plant his own puppets in ravenloft

with tatyana’s death, he has successfully taken over ravenloft via zoom essentially

everything lyssa von zarovich

according to the lore, lyssa is a talented necrologist and inventor of the vampiric mindflayer, so i brought mindflayer variants into barovia.

it was connected to a player’s backstory, who found out the reason his old gang turned on itself and killed many of its own was in exchange for psionic abilities, granted to them thanks to lyssa von zarovich who was able to induce a state of semi-ceremorphosis.

baldur’s gate 3 helped in terms of ideas in this regard lol but the deathlock bandits as they are now called are a part of lyssa’s growing army of mindflayer mutants and vampiric mindflayers which she has been making in the furthest regions of barovia, just outside of strahd’s reach

another player character’s yaya was nearly turned into a mindflayer, but van richten was able to stop the process.

lyssa is currently azalin’s proposed new ruler of barovia alongside some of strahd’s court (consorts in the original adventure) which has chosen to betray him

my plan is for lyssa to be the big boss at the end of a vicious dungeon crawl through the crypts of ravenloft as the gang needs to retake the castle and i am EXCITED to run this next section of the campaign